Family is an interesting thing. Some we love, some we worry about, and some we wish would wonder somewhere else. In the end, family can bring out the most awkward thoughts inside of us, and at the same time make us feel connected to the world.
At the coffee bar, I often get to observe family in action; however it is interesting to apply that to my own connections in life. I have sat and listened to the laments of people in relation to their sisters, brothers, and cousins. Then I have seen them together. You can tell the ones that really care about each other, and those that just tolerate each other. Often times it seems to be one-sided though. One person wants the connection, and the other seems to have a wall. Old hurts, or fears of being hurt have built the walls of protection.
Over the weekend I attempted to attend my great aunt's memorial service. I say attempted, because through my own muddled mind, I went to the wrong place. I felt so horrible about having done something so...well...dumb! I did, however, make it to the dinner after the ceremony, which made me feel worse. It was probably in my own mind, but I felt false and fake sitting there. Because of this inner feeling (my own personal wall), I spent most of the time watching my family interact with each other. In the end, I was glad I attended the dinner regardless of the circumstances.
You may ask what the connections is between the coffee bar observations, and the dinner. Basically that no matter how we feel about each other, family seems to always find a way to show up.
~Off to drink more coffee~
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